I broke free

Maxwell · Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 2:22 am Post subject: I broke free

I was pretty thirsty before work this afternoon, so I stopped at the gas station and picked up a C2. You know what this is. It's the new Coke drink with less carbs and calories and everything. It wouldn't be my first choice, but they were out of regular Coke and I was in a hurry.

Anyway, I drank the can and tossed it in the trash and walked into the theatre. I was wearing a dark blue button-down shirt, black tie, jacket, slacks, dress shoes- my normal workplace attire. I walked across the lobby confidently, greeting various employees as they passed.

This was when something strange happened. In the middle of the lobby, I suddenly stopped walking and laid down on my back, hands behind my head, right leg resting on my left knee in a pose of seemingly complete relaxation.

The peaceful scene did not last long, though, as I suddenly and inexplicably started breakdancing. This was strange for two reasons, the first being that I had no idea why I was doing this, and indeed had no real control over the terrible primitive urge to completely break it down; and the second being that I have no idea how to break dance. I'm a pretty boring person and I simply don't usually do things like that. My life consists of very few activities: reading, sleeping, using the computer, going to work, and that's about it. But all of a sudden I felt that I was breaking free of this ho-hum life and entering a new stage that would be exciting and unpredictable.

Eventually I wrapped up my breakdancing. I stood up slowly and brushed myself off. I hurt all over, because the lobby tile is not the ideal breakdancing medium.

Making my way upstairs and into the office, I encountered two other managers sitting and finishing up paperwork from the day shift. One manager, Mr. Baker, had apparently brought a can of C2 of his own, and had just opened it when I walked in. I stopped short and stared at him. Our eyes met, and he immediately stood up and began doing a strange dance, similar to the robot, his arms flailing everywhere, but always it centered on the can, which he passed slowly in front of his face from time to time to gaze upon, but never breaking the intensity of his nonsensical (and thoroughly unpredictable) dance.

Heartened that I was not the only one driven to acts of seeming lunacy in a professional environment by this delicious low-carb soda, I threw my jacket on the ground and grabbed the paperwork that he had been working on, crushing it into a compact ball and hurling it at the other manager in the room, Ms. Hanson. She was staring slack-jawed at Mr. Baker's antics and so did not see the ball in time to dodge it, and it slammed directly into her open eye. She screamed in pain, somewhat dimming our euphoric mood.

Full of dread that Mr. Baker and I might soon slip back into our normal and boring behavior patterns, I challenged him to a race around the building on the rolling office chairs. He naturally accepted, and so we did a couple of quick circuits between the office, and projection booth, scattering reels of film carelessly, cackling like idiots, raising our arms triumphantly although we were not competing, we were just enjoying ourselves and our newfound sense of freedom.

Finally we rolled back into the office again, still laughing, out of breath, and we ran over to Ms. Hanson who was slumped over the counter rocking back and forth and holding her eye, which was bleeding rather profusely. We approached her curiously and cautiously, like two cavemen who had discovered how to create fire and viewed their creation with fear and delight.

When I grabbed Ms. Hanson, she cried out in fear. This somehow excited our animal instincts, and we threw her on the floor and ripped off her clothes. I tore her panties off with my teeth. When I penetrated her she screamed, and Mr. Baker gave her a crushing blow to the face. I came quickly, and Baker jumped on top and took his turn while I grabbed the can of C2 and reprised his frantic dance. I emptied the can into my mouth as he moaned with his orgasm. We threw her blood- and cum-stained body into the safe and immediately set about destroying the security monitoring equipment in a fit of humorously unpredictable glee.

The rest of the night went ok. The GM was kind of pissed but after we got him to drink some C2 he joined us in a hilarious impromptu game of dodgeball using 10 dollar rolls of quarters. As I reflect now, having come down from my high and returned to my normal predictable self, I think we'll have to buy several cases of soda to distribute to various police detectives to avoid going to jail.

So anyway. Has anyone had any similar experiences?

Tinister · Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 2:23 am Post subject:

http://summary.ytmnd.com/
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Maxwell · Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 2:25 am Post subject:

There's rape in it.

Reitz · Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 2:37 am Post subject:

C2: The secret ingredient is Speed. Er...we mean, Love.
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FAM · Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 3:06 am Post subject:

You remind me of Matt Good.

Efreit · Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 11:07 am Post subject:

max i love you!
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Jim · Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 11:47 am Post subject:

THAT WAS EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!! Laughing

KO_er · Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 12:50 pm Post subject:

Damn I gotta get me some C2.
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