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Dune House Atreides / Dune General / Would anyone rate my Dune Fanficiton?

Seruna Kanus Feb 15th 11:49 PM
Keep in mind, it is pure fanfiction. It is set in the middle of HoD.

Odrade and Teg stood at one corner of the room, Paul and Leto II in another. Serunas Julius and Serunas Augustus stood near the third corner, and Seruna Kanus and Abdus in the last. The Tleilaxu face dancer stood in the center of the room, clutching a knife to Serunes Tanre's neck. All through the room stood Bene Gesserit and Tleilaxu.

Duncan Idaho stood near the Atreides, wondering weather he should attack the face dancer or stay near his leaders of old. All around the room there were people poised to attack, but few even moved, not wanting to bring harm to the matriarch of House Seruna.

"Don't move, or my knife will tare her throat," the face dancer shouted.

"He's right, no movement, not one among you could get to him in time." This was Seruna Kanus. His brow was pressed, he was agitated. He couldn't recall the last time she had been put in such a situation. Why did he bring her along.

"Pawindah, fools, all of you. You think you understand us? You will never learn our truths," the face dancer was standing next to her, knife ready. She could do nothing, they could do nothing. None of them could get to him. She would be dead before a gap could close.

Waff, the Tleilaxu Master of masters, stood next to Sheeana. He was glad she wasn't in this heretics grasp. "Why are you doing this? They pose no threat, and they know our god. They worship him as we do."

"You've no say in this. She must be made an example"

"Heretic!" Waff could barely contain himself.

"She dies today."

Why did I let this happen... again... Wait, I've been through this before. I could get him, if he is positioned right. A recoil. That will set him up, She won't be harmed. He will be set off balance, that will be done first.

A familiar air of arrogance came back around Seruna Kanus. It was now clear to him. He could take three birds, not two, but three with one stone.

"I know how I will resolve this situation. I will tell you. First I will ask you a question. You, and all Tleilaxu in the room will recoil in response. Your recoil will give me the perfect opening. My knuckles will meet you at the base of your neck, disabling long enough for me to pull you away from my queen. I will then, with the momentum of my initial movement, bring my left knee into your ribs, cracking each that is impacted.

"My left foot will then land on the ground and my right foot will swing behind me, clockwise, into the same spot, increasing the damage. I will place my right foot on the floor then and bring my right arm up, blade in hand, and sever your left arm from your shoulder. I will release the blade from my right arm, the glade will flip on itself twice and I will catch it with my left hand, I will then pull the blade, perpendicular to your neck, left across your neck and behead you."

The face dancer, and many others scoffed at the tale. "You said yourself none have the speed to get to me and save your consort."

Leto II looked over at Seruna Could he be prescient? Could this be why my father and I can not, could not see him?

"Tell me face dancer," Seruna Kanus began his act, "How long does it take to turn a female into an Axolotl Tank?" Just as he said every Tleilaxu in the room, and many others recoiled. He didn't seem to bluff in his instructions, and he didn't bluff the question.

How did he? God help us, he is a threat. Waff was speechless.

The face dancer looked puzzled. Why would he know about that? What kind of question was, question! I'm open for his attack! HE CAN KI...

Before the face dancer could react, Seruna Kanus was on him. Doing as he said he would, Seruna pounded the face dancer and decapitated him in seconds. The headless body fell to the floor.

"Well now that that is done, shall we continue?"
___________________________________________


-Seru King
Seruna Kanus Mar 1st 5:10 PM
Why have all the people left?

Anyways, I'm halfway through Chapterhouse, and I'm begining to think I many scrap this one. Or I may figure out the twist that makes this happen in my main fanfiction.


-Seru King
Rob
User ID: 1453344
Mar 1st 10:57 PM
I meant to review this, but have been a tad busy as of late. I'll try to get it within the next week or so.
Seruna Kanus Mar 2nd 5:23 PM
Thanks. Do not I conjured it half way throught Haritics, so I didn't know what happens at the end of the book.


-Seru King
Seruna Kanus Mar 10th 2:13 PM
After reading all of Haritics and Chapterhouse, I have decided to toss this out. I have a grand plot for Duncan and his crew. And I may make you people love Brian, cause I won't leave one cell in that nullanthropy tube alone. Though I wonder what all the characters would think if, when they land on a planet, they are met by Lucilla. House Seruna got her cells on their own, just before Dama killed her.


-Seru King
Seruna Kanus Apr 26th 11:36 AM
I must wonder though, which of the 25 planets that House Seruna rules shall I have them land on first.


-Seru King

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