Let's talk about the opposite sex

[LV]

...

[Starr]

Whew... Yeah.

[hekkel]

That's a doozy.  Jealous girls are the worst. 

[Princess Zelda]

I'm a jealous girl and I'm definitely the worst.

[hekkel]

I had an ex who was jealous.  She never went so far as to log into my facebook account (she didn't know the password, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt), but she did pull a few hijinks.  Once I was at Friday's with a bunch of friends and some of their friends whom I didn't know.  My ex was somewhere else with her friends, and called me and said they wanted to head to Friday's.  "Okay, great," I thought, and started pushing some tables together and rounding up extra chairs.  Then I sat down next to my friends, and I girl I didn't know sat down next to me.  We started shooting the shit, and unbeknownst to me, my ex pulled up in the parking lot and saw me talking to this girl.  She drove off and didn't answer my calls for a few hours.  I had no idea why.

So yeah, fuck that shit.  I think jealousy is the root of a lot of problems that occur in relationships.  If you're the jealous type, you need to fix whatever internal issue you have that's causing it or kiss being happy goodbye.  And if you're jealous because you don't think you can trust your partner, then break up with them because you have no business being with someone who might cheat on you.

[TurboEmu]

Preach.

[~*~Zelda1~*~]

You are making many very good points Devin.

[hekkel]

I'll shut up now.

[~*~Zelda1~*~]

Why? I meant that.

[hekkel]

Yeah, I know.  I just realized that I was standing on a soapbox.  I don't like soapboxes.

[Dave]

that's why you stink

[TBD]

Who's having opposite sex?

Make that shit illegal immediately

[R-]

Dating is weird. I actually haven't been in the 'dating game' as of late, due to having a one year relationship where I was at one point engaged. It's still going, but I'm not sure for how long. In any case, I do miss the thrill of flirting, dating, and getting to know someone new. There comes a point in a relationship where you, essentially, know them completely, and if at that point your significant other refuses to explore the world and grow with you, well, it becomes pretty terrible.

[LV]

Aren't you 16?  Why were you engaged?

[hekkel]

Randy!  I love you.  Which is why I wish I could slap you really hard in the face right now.

[Dratini SE]

Sometimes you do just want them to listen!

Not everything has a solution.

High five!

Starr, your post was very lovely. I wish you all the best.

[Starr]

I'll shut up now/I don't like soapboxes.

[just taz]

Here is my somewhat reluctant contribution to this discussion. 

I am an illiterate piece of shit: I am happy with the road I'm on, and cool with other people not taking it.
Let's not get all

with each other.

I wasn’t going to post in this thread at all, because I’m sure most of you probably don’t want to hear it.  I don’t feel that I have to justify my life decisions.  But I’ll offer my perspective.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I have quite the dating record.  I could be called a somewhat “serial monogamist”, I suppose.  I've also had lengthy spells of singledom and it was a blast! Girls Nights Out, Alone Time In, Random Hookups, etc.  But when it comes to getting certain needs fulfilled, I find that I would MUCH rather be intimate with someone who actually cares about me.

I am very content in my relationship.  I didn’t get married because “it was that time” or because “it was expected”.  I did it because I wanted to. Things just clicked into place and my intuition told me to go for it.  My husband is my best friend, and has done nothing but make my life better since he entered it.  Truthfully, my development into adulthood had been stymied.  I wanted better for myself than what I had but did not see any way to make that happen.  Such is the rut of generational poverty.  My husband gave me a road map to help me level up, which is an ongoing process. 

I also feel a great deal of satisfaction related to branching out from my fucked up family.  Take that as you will.  It was a huge relief to shed my absentee, deadbeat father’s last name.  I took Rand’s name as a show of unity, but it also helps me to dissociate from their dysfunction.   

We have lots of fun, we have our issues, we bicker like little kids, and we work well together.  But having lives and hobbies outside of “us” is crucial.  We are not each other’s keeper or warden.  Maybe it’s because we were both only-children, so we can always play by ourselves.  I have heard from many people that not everyone does this.  Some people have a hard time entertaining themselves, or have some lack of trust that makes them want to be together all the time, I guess.

That brings me to this Captain Obvious statement: Everyone is different!  Not everyone feels that marriage is the end-game, or even the best way to solidify a relationship.  Quite a few of those people are at this very board.  Good for them!  As your friend, I can promise you that I will never be the type to ask you if you’re seeing anyone.  I know you’ll tell me.  I will never tell you that “Mr./Ms. Right/True Wuv is out there for you!”.  I will never try to set you up with someone simply because you both have being single in common. We live in an individualistic society—do what is best for YOU.  You’ll face plenty of scrutiny from those who are unable to think outside the box, no matter what you do.  I get it often enough for my lack of desire to have children, when that decision does not affect anyone outside of this household. (Except maybe my family and I will never have the heart to tell them they are a huge factor in that decision.)

All that said, if my marriage does not work out, I can at least say it was the right thing to do at the time and we gave it a damn good try.  (I don’t think I’ll want to do this again though—unless it’s to Dav3.)  Marriage makes you vulnerable; it tests your strengths and weaknesses.  Pick your battles.  It’s one thing to snag that mate, and another to keep them.  For me, it’s completely worth the effort.   Don't take my word for it though.  I'm just starting out and I know fuckall.

It will be cool to look back on this thread in a few years and see where I stand then.

i am late to the game but this was really nice to read

[Eldaron]

It's good to see that the khakain ladies are well-adjusted and don't have crazy hang-ups. At least not that they admit to.
Jealousy is awful; I have no time for it.
Being in Japan, a lot of people think I must be kneedeep in tail, but not really. For starters, I'm in northern Japan, and the local town is quite small with what seems like a mostly older population. On top of that, there is the language barrier. I hung out with this one Japanese girl a couple times, but her English wasn't very good, and my Japanese is nearly non-existant. On top of that, I have a strong religious preference for a potential mate, and there aren't loads of Japanese Christians from what I've seen. Theoretically, they're supposed to be easy to convert... Also, I don't have much interest in dating military women. I have no intentions of staying inmore than a tour or two or becoming someone's dependent and moving all the time. My philosophical values are most likely incompatible with those of someone who would want to stay in the military also. Oh, and online dating doesn't seem very prevalent up here.
If I were stateside or maybe even in another region, it's likely I'd be into something serious. I think I'm ready to settle down.

[loller]

Plenty of Japanese Christians. Go for the Korean transplants. Lots of batshit insane Christian Koreans.

[~*~Zelda1~*~]

I think every person in the world has at least one "crazy" hang-up or personality quirk. Mine is impatience. In dating too.