BRO'S before HO'S

[Hitman]

This is one of those things you hear people repeat over and over again but in my experience most people don't give a shit... when it comes to Ho's the whole Bro's thing goes out the window.

When I broke up with Tej we had a bet to see which one of my friends would hit on her first. I think it took about two weeks before it happened. And I wasn't even that mad... I think it's how guys are wired. Not sure how it works with the opposite sex but I imagine girls can be a bunch of back-stabbers too but for probably different reasons. Guys have to deal with testosterone and girls are just ruthless towards each other.

I bring this up because I had a bros before hos situation recently and I took the high road. My buddy realized it and appreciated it... the girl seems more shocked than anything that she got shot down. I feel generally good about the decision but at the same time I realize I cockblocked myself so that's still frustrating.

Anyway, what's your opinion on this? Are you one of those people that preaches it but doesn't stick to it? Have you ever stabbed a friend in the back in this way?

[Hitman]

OH.. and the last question is "have you been stabbed in the back by a friend?"

[TurboEmu]

I live with a couple, Adam and Rachel.  They recently became engaged and will be getting married over the summer.  Two summers ago, Rachel got really drunk on blueberry vodka and tried to open mouth kiss me.  I blew it off, not really very attracted to Rachel and knowing that Adam doesn't really have an "If it's girls it's okay." policy.  I told Adam it had happened immediately afterward in a jokey "control your drunk girlfriend!" type of manner.  

Last night I had a dream where Rachel was trying very hard to get me to go to bed with her and even dream me was a stellar human being and was like "NO! You're marrying Adam, harlot!"

[Hitman]

What would have happened if you were more attracted to Rachel?

Also, as per mancode article 69... on behalf of Adam I must ask...  threesome?

[TurboEmu]

I am not sure.  I have never really been put in a similar situation but my guess would be that I would have taken advantage of the kiss but behaved similarly. 

Adam is an especially romantic fella. He is very strange in that he wants for all sex to be with people that he is in love with and is entirely built for monogamy.  He and I are very similar people and our relationship is more like my relationship with my brother.  Not interested, in any event.

[Hitman]

Well okay... at least I fulfilled my obligation.

[Princess Zelda]

Aww. I love Adam and Rachel! Hmm, I could see him being a kinda feelings dude. He seems to like everyone, he has a lovely personality.

[just taz]

the only time i got slightly upset was when my brother made out with my exgirlfriend

i got over it pretty quickly.

[Hitman]

your actual brother chose a ho over you?

[Disco]

My actual brother dated a girl I previously dated in high school. (She had dumped me because after three weeks of dating I never kissed her. I was pretty bad at high school.)

I could've made a fuss, but honestly, she was way into him and I like to see good things happen to my people. So I gave him my blessing, they went for it, and it turned out she was batty beyond comprehension. Sudden drunk, shit talking, just bad news all around. So they broke up. I tried staying friends with her, but honestly, any time she calls me now, it's because she's trying to track down my brother (who is already hiding from her) for a drunk hookup.

So, uh, I guess bros won in this scenario.

[BANHAMMERED!]

i dont give a fuck.

expecting any sort of good will out of people is a shit show.

do what you want to do, try not to fuck others over - anton levey in the mother fuckin house.

bro before ho's - if it suits you.

[(ubone SE KE]

I blew it off, not really very attracted to Rachel...

But you ARE at least a little attracted to Rachel? Elaborate on that, please.

[hekkel]

i dont give a fuck.

expecting any sort of good will out of people is a shit show.

do what you want to do, try not to fuck others over - anton levey in the mother fuckin house.

bro before ho's - if it suits you.

I like you more and more every day.

[Starr]

Yeah that's a good outlook.

It also sounds like maybe Kris broke the bro code!

[Starr]

I have been on both sides of this coin. Neither is a good place to be! I only broke girl code once, but I have had it done to me on a few occasions. It's awful when it's your family, or supposed "best" friend. 

The worst was in ~2007 when my cousin decided to go after my ex. He was my first love (who I had a huge history with--which she lived with me for some time during--so she knew I would not approve.) I  had to find out by my aunt; then the cousin finally fessed up to it, via text message. I completely stopped talking to her for almost a year, and honestly my trust for her has only been back to about 75% since. We put our differences aside because our grandmother was dying. One night we sat alone in the hospital waiting room and laid all of our cards on the table. He had of course dumped her by then. But she and I will always be family, and he is just some dude who is no longer relevant in our lives. I had to let it go.

[riss]

Being betrayed by a "friend" is definitely one of the worst things I've ever had to go through. I would never even consider putting anyone through that. Just the thought of doing it to someone else makes me sick.

[Dragonair]

I somehow managed to spend the entirety of my adolescence and the majority of my adult life without knowing that that was what the phrase was specifically referring to.  To this day, it perplexes me that it's even a thing.  I always figured it wasn't anybody else's business whom people chose to date except the people themselves and their current significant others, if applicable.  Some people being compatible while others aren't, but people still being people, and all that.

I guess it's a good thing I'm not in the dating pool.  Relationships sure are weird.

[Starr]

They are weird and complicated. It's just when you really cared about someone and went through a lot with them and your close friend knows all that, but goes after them anyway right in your face... It stings.

I wish I had known better at the time I did it. I justified it to my younger, inexperienced self but yeah. Not cool. Maybe having it happen to me later was karma. 

[WC]

The bro code is absolute unless you really like the girl or really want to bone her

[Eldaron]

In HS, I'm pretty much certain my best friend at the time had a thing for this one girl, but she was into me. He was taking her "as friends" to the prom, but she was insistent that I find a date and go also. I then, selfish sack of shit that I was, took her out for Dairy Queen before the dance even came around and had a makeout session. I ended up taking a girl I hardly knew to prom, and we parted ways more or less right after grand march. I then hung out with said female and she was my girlfriend after that for like 2 years. She turned out to be a crazy cold fish, and I finally got my act together and ended it. My friend from back in the day ended up dating and is now married to her totally awesome sister. I like to think I saved him from the crazy sister, which I indirectly did, but I wasn't nearly so well-intentioned at the time.
I've never done anything like that since then, and I have even not pursued what could be viable relationships because of what it might do to my present friendships. One of my best friend's sister is a totally awesome lady, and I'd love to give it a shot with her. Her brother has even suggested the idea. However, she is also one of my other best friend's ex, and they have a stupid history. I should totally pursue it now though, as it's years and years in the past!

He is very strange in that he wants for all sex to be with people that he is in love with and is entirely built for monogamy.

I'm also this way.

[Starr]

I think this sort of thing happens more when we're young and new to the nuances of the scene. I guess it's just part of navigating toward emotional maturity. Chances are it won't matter as much in a few years. Kris is right (omg) that you can't expect to be treated fairly all the time because people are dumb awful idiots. But it sounds like most of us learned from these mistakes so that's good. To those of you that never broke the code, you're good people. Kudos for using your head at a time a lot of people think with other body parts.

[loller]

In HS, I'm pretty much certain my best friend at the time had a thing for this one girl, but she was into me. He was taking her "as friends" to the prom, but she was insistent that I find a date and go also. I then, selfish sack of shit that I was, took her out for Dairy Queen before the dance even came around and had a makeout session. I ended up taking a girl I hardly knew to prom, and we parted ways more or less right after grand march. I then hung out with said female and she was my girlfriend after that for like 2 years. She turned out to be a crazy cold fish, and I finally got my act together and ended it. My friend from back in the day ended up dating and is now married to her totally awesome sister. I like to think I saved him from the crazy sister, which I indirectly did, but I wasn't nearly so well-intentioned at the time.
I've never done anything like that since then, and I have even not pursued what could be viable relationships because of what it might do to my present friendships. One of my best friend's sister is a totally awesome lady, and I'd love to give it a shot with her. Her brother has even suggested the idea. However, she is also one of my other best friend's ex, and they have a stupid history. I should totally pursue it now though, as it's years and years in the past!

He is very strange in that he wants for all sex to be with people that he is in love with and is entirely built for monogamy.

I'm also this way.

Seems like you're putting an awful lot of faith in high school crushes. Was this a girl he interacted with frequently? You obviously weren't just going off of hormones as you dated her for two years.

[BANHAMMERED!]

Yeah that's a good outlook.

It also sounds like maybe Kris broke the bro code!

MAYBE. i was in 8th grade and he was always more popular than me until that year

[BANHAMMERED!]

i dont give a fuck.

expecting any sort of good will out of people is a shit show.

do what you want to do, try not to fuck others over - anton levey in the mother fuckin house.

bro before ho's - if it suits you.

I like you more and more every day.

am i a good character?

[hekkel]

where all da thai women at

[BANHAMMERED!]

Estimates of the number of prostitutes vary widely and are subject to controversy. A 2004 estimate by Dr. Nitet Tinnakul from Chulalongkorn University gives a total of 2.8 million sex workers, including 2 million women, 20,000 adult males and 800,000 minors under the age of 18, but the figures for women and minors were considered to be grossly inflated by most observers, and to have resulted from poor research methods.[5] One estimate published in 2003 placed the trade at US$ 4.3 billion per year, or about three percent of the Thai economy.[6]

[Eldaron]

Seems like you're putting an awful lot of faith in high school crushes. Was this a girl he interacted with frequently? You obviously weren't just going off of hormones as you dated her for two years.

Yes, they were friends and continued to be friends for a bit after we started dating except then he got awkward with her, so she stopped hanging out with him.

But a huge gaping vagina the size of a hallway, long time ago.

[Princess Zelda]

My friends were on/off dating each other for a few years. I developed a crush on the dude, which is something that doesn't happen often for me. I thought he kinda liked me as well, or at least he had around October. I then messaged the girl around Christmas-time to say, 'hey, I think I really like X! Is that cool with you? I know you two have dated in the past so I don't want to step on your territory.' She goes, 'oh Shaila I'm so sorry, but we actually just started seeing each other again, keeping it under the radar. We don't want it to be public.' Hearing this made me feel nauseous and I wanted to cry. I was pretty upset. He's a special dude. Still is, he's now with a pretty cool girl.

[riss]

That really sucks but she probably appreciated you telling her about it.

[BANHAMMERED!]

'hey, I think I really like X!'

ya you do