The Board Timeline was a Khakain project that stuck over the years. Castle Guard proved to be the exception to the rule that any project started by a Khakainer would undoubtedly be abandoned in a month’s time. The Board Timeline helped to chronicle the events of our beloved message board for the first 5 years of its existence. On September 9th, 2004 Castle Guard released a compilation of 100 of the greatest moments in Khakain history in celebration of the 5th anniversary of Khakain. Voting was briefly held on the boards and choices were finalized by CG himself. Events that made the final cut included Khakain’s nomadic transitions between various boards, countless wars involving the Squirtles, HTLOZ, and others, and threads such as Zelda’s Chat Corner and Stupid Haunted House. The top choice went to “The Revolution”, which took place in early December of 1999 when Parsnip and It Doesn’t Matter decided to challenge Video Gamer X’s running of the boards. The First 100 helped to instill nostalgic and warm feelings in the hearts of Khakainers who once again realized that they were a part of something special; something more personal than just an Internet message board.

The Inter-Swirve worked tirelessly to preserve the remaining Swirve boards, but one thing it never thought to do was rebuild them. Laska, an aussie from an obscure swirve board, planned to do just that. She created a perfect replica of a Swirve board from scratch using PHP, as well as a simple board creator. The code was apparently very rudimentary and needed a lot of work. Laska, unfortunately, was consumed by other projects, but after a fair amount of nagging the code was sent to Khakain. It sits unfinished on our server. Tinister is reportedly learning a programming language that would be most suited to such a project. One day the board service that gave birth to us will have a home on our own server, giving birth to God knows what.

"Are you sure about that?" A spambot thread pioneered by an argument between tazor and Mendoza and made popular with Tinister and Mendoza's signature banter, Best Web Page is a topic for everybody to enjoy. Come sit with fellow Khakainers and ask those tough questions and learn things you might never hear elsewhere! In its lifetime, it has made appearances on at least five different locations (Sports Board, Music, Politics, Squirtle Embassy, Furtopia), making it the first and only topic to transcend boards. However, it will always find the Sports Board to be its home.

XD was the last member to join Khakain through VGX's site. Had he just waited a few more months he probably would have been a productive Emo Khakainer. But, he joined the real deal and he tried hard to fit in. He was never a board superstar, and he had a few Unholy-like tendencies, but there was never any hatred or malice directed toward him. But, he made an appearance at the Toronto boardcon and things kinda went downhill from there. He was constantly complaining, couldn't stay on his feet, and prefered that everyone stay in the hotel and play Dead or Alive. His lack of respect for personal space put women at unease, and his droning "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" haunted their nightmares. After this display and the fallout upon return to the board, XD took a permanent leave, returning only very briefly to lurk.

During the mid to late 2000s Who Cares, a.k.a. Luke, and It Doesn’t Matter, a.k.a. Joe, became good friends partly by proxy, but mostly based on common interests including Khakain, Mets baseball, growing up in relatively the same area of Queens, cheap barrel juice drinks, and arguing with Mandrang Ganon, a.k.a. Maggy. The two have met up many times since 2005 for what have been officially termed “microcons”, or Khakain related gatherings involving two people. During a microcon in 2009, Luke and Joe were browsing and posting on Khakain when Luke made a, at the time, hilarious typo that simply said “pojp.” It is unclear what the original spelling attempt was, but the two found it amusing enough to post in PGF a few times. It did not take immediately; thus it was promptly forced down the throats of everyone in PGF. pojp was recklessly used by Luke and Joe with the intention of turning the little typo into a relevant word. Luke even went as far as to proclaim on the board that pojp would replace derp as the go to generic response. While pojp fell short of expectations and did not overtake the popular usage of derp, it did gain some footing in the realm of Khakain. While some have adopted it alongside derp, the usage of pojp has been banned in any and all PGF related chats. Dragonair, master of PGF, implemented a penalty for using the word: being kicked from the chat. In the end pojp stands on its own as an anomaly and a new addition to the Khakain lexicon.

It's such an elegant and simple idea I can't believe it took one of us as long as it did to think this up. Kalimdel gets the points for it. Most boards we come into contact with take the idea for their own, but none of their threads match up to ours. The thread that will not die is known for annoying anyone that doesn't participate in it. So, you might as well participate in it and then it won't annoy you as much. There's even a chance you could win. Traditionally the first post sniped off each new page is a new flash or youtube, which range from funny to vaguely depressing. Nair won the phpbb thread, since he is a dirty cheater. Karmically, this yet to come back on him.

Threads that develop into series are usually created by people without shit fetishes. That is not the case with Dallas’ Official Topics. In March 2007 Dallas decided it was time to reclaim his past board glory by embedding himself into the deepest corners of our mind. He would do this by inspiring discussion through official topics on the Odyssey board. Topics included Seinfeld, sluts, zeitgeist, and of course how much we all love Dallas. Some board members engaged in the discussions freely. Others were skeptical. Rissah created a thread titled “tonight’s official topic: do you like dallas’ official topics?” and William put in his two cents by posting a thread titled “tomorrow’s official topic: dallas is a homosexual buffoon”. Of course Dallas is a hard man and such burning critiques never phased his ego. In the end, Dallas’ Official Topics can be summed up by one thought: IT’S A CONSPIRACY.

Banning is something Khakain will never do without major hesitation and arguing. Even if the person receiving the ban posted child porn, someone will leap to their defense. Most bans just can't seem to stick. So, Dunk invented something better than a ban: CORYAL LAW. Actually, he didn't invent it. It's an old Disaster Labs flash that he lifted. Coryal is the guy with orange hair and the others are...I really can't tell what they say their names are. Coryal law's centerpiece may be that flash, but it also opens up multiple windows, multiple other flashes, multiple gifs and redirects to Last Measure, one of the internet's most evil weapons. Since most people don't know or care what Coryal Law is, as long as we're not banning people it's a-ok. Coryal law has been used as a punishment for certain members we wanted to go away, as well as a way to deter lurkers we cannot identify. Apologies once again to Reitz's wife.

When Dragonair first left, it was because RO took all his free time. Then he came back, and all was well! And he started making an RPG, and revived Our Story! But oh wait, he's back on RO and disappeared for months, and now he's helping to run a server and is in a polygamous RO marriage. This kind of crap happens with a lot of members. Toby falls victim to WoW every other month. Even poor Unholy is a slave to Matrix Online. A simple battle cry was devised in the fight against MMOs, and it stands to this day as the least effective command ever.

We've always had photo albums and galleries. We wouldn't be a very good circle jerk if we didn't. Ever since Tinister stopped updating his photo gallery, though, nothing substantial replaced it for a long time. There was that Coppermine on Dallas's server, but it was mostly junk. Dave had saved almost every picture posted on the board, and had a collection of nearly a thousand images. For our seventh anniversary Dave uploaded all of them, and I organized them and made them into a new Gallery. I named it KGB because I knew such a large gallery would make people think I was some sort of stalker. And, of course, once it went up there was a big fallout and I had to remove several images and Tim, in fact, DID start that joke about how I save everyone's toilet paper. Fletcher gave it a facelift some time after, and since then it's only really seen updates in the form of new Boardcon sections. Right now it's the biggest thing on the server. We're such losers. Jim actually posed like that for the banner. Click next already!